“The key to employing empathy within a relationship is to understand the value system of the other person.”

The Laws of Human Nature, Chapter 2, The Law of Narcissism

We speak often of empathy as a soft virtue—a warm presence, a gentle ear, a tender mirroring of emotion.

And yet, empathy is not merely about feeling what another feels.

It is a deeper kind of attunement, one that requires more than just compassion.

It demands curiosity, precision, and, above all, a willingness to enter a world not our own.

At the core of every human being is a value system—a framework, often unspoken, that governs their thoughts, feelings, and actions.

This system is rarely tidy or logical, but it is incredibly powerful.

It tells them what is right, tolerable, threatening, beautiful, sacred, and more.

And until we grasp this internal architecture, any attempt at empathy remains shallow—well-meaning, but fundamentally misdirected.

True empathy, then, begins not with reflection, but with inquiry.

We must learn to ask…