“Be extra wary around people who display emphatic traits.”
The Daily Laws, May 17, Deciphering the Shadow
Lesson
Learn how to spot emphatic traits in others, and the importance of such observations.
Quote
“Be extra wary around people who display emphatic traits.” — Robert Greene
Explanation
Emphatic traits are the parts of ourselves we consciously, or subconsciously, overemphasise in public to display a certain aura or convey a specific message.
These overemphasised characteristics can be easily spotted through awareness and basic observation.
When someone is making a concerted and blatant effort to present an extreme side of their personality, we can say this specific trait is an emphatic one.
We must be cautious around individuals who engage in this type of obvious display, as nearly all of the time an emphatic demonstration means the exact opposite trait exists underneath the bravado.
Such caution is important given that if we are fooled by false, emphatic traits, we will eventually be let down, perhaps even damaged, when reality unveils that the individual we trusted and came to rely on, is in fact not who he or she initially claimed to be.
Example
Let us say you have been engaged in an idealistic relationship with a romantic partner for a number of years.
This partner is everything you were looking for in a mate, and you even find his slightly obscure obsession with loyalty fairly endearing.
He often expresses his emotions and deep passion towards the importance of loyalty with fierce intensity, ensuring you understand just how loyal he is and that you reciprocate this trait in equal measure.
Given loyalty is an attribute you appreciate (although not quite as vehemently as your partner), you see nothing suspicious about this obsession, and so you appease your partner’s wishes by remaining persistently loyal, knowing that he will be doing the same.
As the relationship continues to progress, your partner maintains his intense moral preference, frequently stating that he is an individual of staunch loyalty and that he expects the same treatment, even going so far as to tell those outside of your relationship about this virtuous tendency of his.
However, as time goes on, your partner begins to behave slightly suspiciously, returning home at slightly strange hours and acting defensively when probed about these odd timings. You ignore your suspicions, convinced that your partner would not be so cruel as to completely contradict his incessant pledge of loyalty—you are just being paranoid, you conclude.
After a sustained period of this odd behaviour from your partner, with you continuing to ignore your underlying suspicions, he comes to confess that for a number of months he has been having an affair with a close family friend. It was an accident, a severe lapse of judgement, he explains, but his guilt finally got the better of him, and he felt compelled to come clean.
Totally blindsided by this confession, especially after your partner’s explicit obsession with loyalty and your subsequent commitment to this shared obligation, you are distraught, unsure if you will ever find the strength to trust again.
Had you been aware of the reality that emphatic traits usually spell an underlying existence of the opposite characteristics, you would have known to suspect that your partner is likely covering up his inclination towards disloyalty through his obsessive attachment to the importance of loyalty.
With this acquired knowledge, you could have left the relationship immediately, preventing the subsequent harm that ensued, or taken precautionary measures to protect yourself from any potentially harmful outcomes.
At least now you know.